Motivation, Vacation, & Hopefully, only one more to go.

For the first time in my life, I am looking at going on my first "real" vacation. I am planning to go to someplace I have always wanted to go, since I was a little girl who took out all the books in the kids section of the library on hiking the Appalachian trail, and who incessantly dreamed of hiking up to Lake of the Clouds hut.

I'm planning to go to Mount Washington.

For many, many years, reading about the White Mountains, and hearing stories from friends who had been there, I had this goal, this idea stuck in my head.

Now, things are getting closer than I would have ever dreampt possible!

I know I'd have a TON of working out to do and a heck of a lot to learn before even attempting to climb the mountain, but, I'm getting there.

I'm thinking of taking the Cog Railway, to get up and back, spend some time up on the summit. I'm thinking the earliest train in the day will be the best since you can spend up to an hour at the summit, whereas, later trains only allow you a half-hour. I SERIOUSLY want to spend more than a half-hour. I want to take tons of pictures, kiss my Hunny, maybe sketch some of the plant life, and just bask in a dream (more than one) come true.

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Suffice it to say, the opportunity to go to someplace I've dreamed of for years, is a HUGE motivation to push myself harder. I'm going to physical therapy Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday every week. I want to be in as-good-shape as possible for my upcoming trip! Heck, just to tolerate sitting in the car the whole way up will require some serious conditioning on my end. ;)

Getting this close to this goal that I have had for years makes me start to think ahead even more.

I know I want to stay healthy and fit so my Hunny and I can enjoy our time together.

Today it hit me: For so many years, I've lived with that sense of a "foreshortened future," as they call it in psychology. Supposedly, it is a characteristic of PTSD, the feeling that one will not get to live a full lifespan. I think, though, it has more to do with doctors telling you all kinds of crazy stuff for years and subjecting you to all these tests and pills and what not.

Recently, I was cleared of a medical condition I was told I had for years--I was told I had peripheral arterial disease. Went to a speciality hospital, the doctor said I just had a normal variant, and since it is functionally OK, I don't need to worry, and I do NOT have P.A.D.!! The leg discomfort is probably a minor venous issue, and since the compression stockings help, I just should stick with wearing those. In sharp contrast to the message I was giving years ago, this doctor informed me, I do NOT have a higher risk of losing a leg if I break it due to the arterial variant. SWEEEEEEEEEEEET! I like my long sexy legs. Hearing that I don't need to be all worried about losing my gorgeous gams is the BEST thing in the world!!

So, suddenly, my life span seems....well, LONGER and with more potential.

This gets me thinking...maybe someday, I'll be hiking up Mt. Washington.

And, this makes me realize my longer term goals and motivation: When I am old, I want to be comfortable, happy, and fit physically and emotionally (financially, too). I don't want to be a depressed, older person in a tiny apartment wondering where my life went, or very confused and being matched up with a dementia eval.

I want to be that fun, quirky older lady, with all the pets bouncin' around the yard, in my Hubby and I's little house, living out my days and wearing purple. ;)

So, somehow, feeling that I have a longer future
And dreams that are coming closer and closer to being a reality,
I have found a deeper motivation.