Section 8

Section 8
Was never part of the plan.
Who I was years ago
And who I am
Never imagined there would come a day
When a social worker would look at me and say,
"It's time."
How the f*ck do you tell me "It's time,"
And ask me to leave all my dreams behind?
How do you tell me it will be great?
A place of my own?
When it's section 8.....
My goals in the past were to be independent
And that goal I have never lost nor changed
It is just that the manner in which I acheive it
Is no longer exactly the same.
I want independence
I want it to be
EVERYTHING I dreamt of
And more for me!
I want to live on my own
I really want my own home.
I want to be married
I want a dog
I want a yard and maybe kids,
And a higher degree,
And the freedom to give back, to live my dreams
This is what matters to me.
Yes, I feel like I'm stagnating, now, and a part of me just seems
To be "on hold," wanting more
But things are just out of reach....
Maybe now, with medicaid
I will be able to breach
The financial gap that holds me back,
from reaching farther for the stars
I just need to feel safe
At the end of the day
And know that no matter what, things will be ok.
I need to make a heirarchy
Of things I can regret
And then a secondary list
Of regrets I can forget...
My plan was to be an EMT
While I went to school
To get a degree in Biology
Then look into medicine
And have a good job
And have my own place
And work my ass off
And not fall on my face
And be free to wander
Where ever I chose
To travel, to experience
To hike in the wild
To see the world
Maybe one day have a child....
I planned to marry my escape
From a life I did not appreciate
Until it was gone
And I was alone and afraid I'd never love again....
I've never stopped dreaming
And having my goals
Even when I doubted myself, my friends told me
You will get there, wait and see!
They were right,
The doubting doubters were wrong
I am successfully
Going strong
Just not as much or as soon
As I wanted to be
THIS WAS NEVER THE PLAN FOR ME!
I felt myself feel both relief, and turning pale
When I got my medicaid card in the mail
Knowing that help was on it's way
To keep some of the horrid bills at bay...
And maybe make me more self-sufficient
That could truly be great!
There must be, there needs to be
A way to never be
Section 8.