On Being more Silent

Yeah, like that is possible for me. ;)Actually, it's been interesting the past few weeks--while my breathing has been less than perfect, I've actually been talking less, as it requires an effort. Doesn't mean I'm not still chatty as all get out, all things are RELATIVE, and for me, I'm more quite. ;)Of course, this has been interesting. I have realized how much I like to type, and how even if my mouth isn't flapping', my keyboard still is. ;)And no, I'm not sitting here feeling sorry for myself, I am busy making observations and then chatting about them via a means that requires less oxygen. ;)It has been interesting to (and yes this is RARE, I know me! ;) sit and listen more, and not be so quick to respond/have an answer as I usually do, to have to choose words with more care, to slow down.There is a realization of just how little one actually NEEDS to say, as opposed to what one chooses/wants to say. When I was in college, there was a fellow, who, for whatever reason, decided not to talk as a thesis, for, I believe an entire semester. The first time I met him (having known him to be a tad pompous like myself before ;) He was being completely silent. I tried to make him laugh, made a few stupid remarks that normally would have set him off, then realised, he truly did not respond to it...and suddenly I was looking in a mirror, and felt foolish, and realized how juvenile the behavior of trying to 'mess with him' in such a fashion, was. To see no reaction to one's attempts to get a reaction, was quite an epiphany. As I said, suddenly, I was looking in a mirror and seeing my behavior for what it was, in this case, childish and quite foolish and disrespectful. I ceased to try to make him lose his composure. I actually found his undertaking of this thesis, whatever the reason behind it was, to be quite noble. There's the old saying, "One mouth, two ears...." meaning everyone should listen more. I really respected him for his dedication. I also wish I'd somehow told him that his silence was an epiphany for me, on the power of silence, of being a mirror to the world, by his not responding, not reacting, I saw what he was seeing, and ceased to make an ass out of myself. ;)I have a lot more respect for him now, and found him to be a more profound person, when he was spending weeks saying nothing at all, than when he always had some 'brilliant' thing to say.For me, the last few weeks have been an interesting study, especially on the more difficult days, of really thinking of how and if I need/want to respond. I find, more often than not, the less said, the better. There are theories that point to language as being, in essence, a tertiary means of communication--we have pheromones, and body language which have been in place for quite a while for our species and others, to say the least! Spoken language is thought to have evolved later...and perhaps, it is still evolving. So many arguments, so many fights, so many miscommunication can be avoided....it would appear to me that the majority are the direct result of some glitch in communication. And written language? Forget it!Thank goodness for 'emoticons,' or there would be a lot MORE unrest in the web-based world. ;) When there is that absence of face to face communication, which relies on far more than mere speaking and hearing (i.e., body language, and arguably pheromones, etc.), things can disintegrate rapidly. Even when a computer audibly 'reads' text someone wrote, the inflection is lost.In being more 'silent,' and thinking, "is this even worth the effort to respond,and if so, how?" one gains insight not only into one's own behavior, but into that of others, and perhaps, a greater understanding, not to mention, less conflict.That being said, I need to hit the road, get to a meeting, where it is proper decorum to sit silently unless one has business that must be brought up. And sometimes, discretion truly is the better part of valor....So, until I chat away again on this fourth means of communication we've created to augment our other means, have a wonderful day, and take some time to enjoy a moment, andjustbesilent.