Finding Meaning

I was reading through my old writings and posts on my two blogs. The thing I like about blogging, is, it shows the journey. It's like a diary, but perhaps more daring in that one KNOWS it can be found by anyone. For me, it is cathartic, but also a means of saying to the world, THIS is me, I am me, I am strong, and I don't care what anyone else thinks, here's my soul, if you can't handle it, you can navigate away from this page. ;)

I have perhaps too much time to reflect on days like this, where I actually am resting--these days have thankfully become farther apart--and trying to keep my mind busy lest it go off on a trip of it's own while I'm trying to sit here and let the physical stuff simmer down a bit. So, I reflect, though I've learned not to traverse too deeply into the past.

Psychology will tell us that every time we recall an event, a memory, we process it a bit differently. We look at the context somewhat differently, and re frame events in our lives, in essence. The event does not change, but the context and our interpretation, does. Perhaps this is healing, when one can reflect, but not too deeply, and truly bring in a positive context to life experiences that on the surface, seemed devastating and impassible.

The amazing thing about life can be summed up by, "First there is a mountain, than there is no mountain, then there is." When faced with an obstacle, it may first seem insurmountable. But, taking just one step a day, even if it is just brushing your teeth one morning when you don't want to get out of bed, puts you one step farther up the mountain. As long as you keep living, and keep taking one tiny step a day, you will find yourself on top of the mountain, the mountain will have vanished beneath you, and you can pause for a moment to take in the view, and reflect on the journey to surpass what previously seemed impassible.

Then, life continues on. You walk down from the peak and resume day to day life, and sometimes, when you pause to reflect, and you look over your shoulder, you see the mountain behind you, but now, you are looking at the side you walked down. Your perspective of the mountain has changed, from the craggy, impassible thing you needed to scramble over, to your pause at the top to realize, "I got to the summit!" to the walk down the other side and on with your life, to that occasional moment where you look back at the path you've traveled so far, and you see the mountain in the distance, and know you successfully traversed that mountain.

Somehow, that gives one strength, knowing that throughout life, there will be mountains, but if you just keep living, take tiny steps, you will make it to the summit, than down the other side, and some day, again, you will be looking over your shoulder, remembering how you never thought you'd make it over that mountain, but you did. Once you reached the summit, perhaps you were exhausted, but the walk down, as things became easier though you still had to step with care, and then the return to level ground, makes it all worth while. The walk downhill can be energizing. However, once you have crossed over the mountain, don't stare at the mountain behind you for too long, in case you trip over a pebble in the current path by walking backwards. ;)