On Adapting to Current life, and Waiting for Surgery and Results

Well, I have hope now but it must be tempered with PATIENCE! Waiting on 'elective' surgery. Elective my left...well, you know. I have Sphincter of Oddi dysfunction. Positive test for it via Hida w/ CCK. I have bad nausea, occasional vomiting, even with alternating doses of compazine and zofran throughout the day. And lets not talk about pain. It hurts. And pain meds don't help much at ALL. And the meds for SOD don't work on me.

So, I actually just want the darn surgery over with. But, because I am a 'higher risk,' I have to wait until the 'special' anesthesiologist is free. I am hoping from the heart that that is soon. I want this over with, the last six weeks have been getting unbearable. Now that there is finally an end in sight, I have to be patient even as the pain gets worse! It's crazy.

I finally got an MRI of my shoulder done, and am waiting on the results. My PT said that there is probably a 'joint capsule injury.' All I know is, my shoulder is unstable and it hurts all the way down to my hand. So today, I was looking online and found that shoulder injuries can CAUSE migraine and neck pain on the injured side because the muscles are pulling funny to compensate. If that is the case, I hope they can fix not only my shoulder, but maybe some of these debilitating migraines which have gotten worse....then again, so has my shoulder.....hrm.......will have to 'wait and see,' and am hoping the MRI results are in soon.

I am so cranky the past few days. I try not to 'take it out' on anyone, but I am miserable! I am so tired, dizzy....and in pain. I just want to be better! I can't use my wheelchair because my shoulder gets infinitely worse if I just push myself across the room. I need my wheelchair because of the pain and fatigue. Being hunched over from the stomach pain makes the ongoing thoracic (degenerative) pain worse. Well, wheelin..... that ain't happening, so I found an 'alternate' assistive device. I got a rollator which is excellent for shopping. I actually got out for a while with the help of my handsome hunny, yesterday! I tried out my rollator for the first time. It's good because it kept me from falling way more than once when I was wobbly/dizzy, I could sit down in line to wait to pay for stuff (always the WORST part of a shopping trip for me is standing still!) and it was a lot less stress on my shoulder than pushing a wheelchair.

I also started using a shower chair (finally) since I have had a lot of falls and near-falls lately. thankfully landed half on my bed yesterday from one that was a doozy and walked away with only my dignity bruised. Don't have any desire to fall in the shower and have anyone help my bare self up.

The shoulder instability, and pain, on top of an underlying muscle weakness/fatigue makes blow drying my hair a challenge, something I would like to do now that the weather is getting cold, so I think that I need to look into one of those clamps that holds the blow drier so you can use it "hands free."

For the record, I must be some kind of a 'proving ground' for new hires. A second aide from the agency I was private paying, quit. And just like the first one, she genuinely liked me as a person! What the heck??!!! I could really use someone right now. Got to ask my dr. for a script for an aide because I am going broke.

Tomorrow I go to see my truly wonderful new doctor who is giving me hope, and listening, and trying to actually get me better! I have to remember to get my pre-op labs done, and I am hoping she will know more about my shoulder by tomorrow, even though I know it isn't too likely since the MRI was friday afternoon and tomorrow is only Monday.

The hardest thing for me, these days, is waiting for relief when I find out it IS out there. I keep truckin', knowing that things will get taken care of. However, I feel stressed and frustrated because I don't know WHEN, and then I get all frazzled because I will feel more secure once it is DONE already.

And currently my shoulder is loudly crunching every time I move, and I have to pee but I don't want to get up but I got to so I got to stop tying and get my dupa over to the bathroom. I just don't want to get up because it is unpleasant--but the alternative is more unpleasant, so I am outta here!

I just hope that I get the surgery I need, and fast, and that it cures at least one of my problems. Please, think positively for me that this will occur!
Thank you!